Friday, October 07, 2005

I am still Obdachlose.

I am still sitting in this beloved easyInternetcafe in the Zoologischer Garten and I am still homeless. I have yet to find a place, but I am still looking. I counted the number of emails I have sent out, which is 40 only in my Gmail account. This doesn't count the number of emails I sent through websites themselves, so I guess the total would be around 90 or more. And I've seen a total of 11 places, I think. And not one prospect.

I have decided that it is frustrating that my fate is being decided by complete strangers, whether they want me as a roommate or not. I am coming very close to the decision that I should find an apartment by myself, although it would be lonely, and I'll be here for the entire year. It might be easier, and I suppose I could just better my German in class.

I was talking with Alex, and I've also come to this conclusion: There really isn't much time to live on your own. Many people say, "You shouldn't live on your own, there is plenty of time to do that after college." This might be true, but this is my thinking. After college, it seems extraordinarily likely that one will move out and into an apartment with friends or with total strangers. Perhaps a significant other. And then after that, marriage forces you to live with your significant other, unless I am otherwise mistaken. So when are you supposed to live on your own? This is why I think it wouldn't be too bad living in an apartment by myself.

However, the other thought that came to my mind was this PBS program I saw on why humans have this emotion called "empathy." We are very sociable creatures, and empathy stems from the fact that we can imagine ourselves in someone else's shoes. The fact that we are sociable creatures creates this desire to NOT be alone, to live with other humans. So this is the downside of living by myself. As much as I might think it'd be a great idea, in the end, I'd end up lonely. On the other hand, I won't be homeless.

It has been a frustrating process for me and I am still pushing on to find somewhere to live. I know a lot of other people might have given up by now and decide to live in the Studentenwohnheim (dorms), but I really don't want to do that, especially because I am here for the year. I am just hoping that where ever I find a place, I will be happy there, and that the people (if there are people) will be friendly.

I am also looking forward to finding a place to live because then I can actually eat properly. I feel like I haven't eaten a proper vegetable in almost 2 weeks. I don't think in the past I would ever think this, but man, I miss vegetables. And fruit. Alex and I have been living on doener kebabs (read her blog, I'm sure she mentioned kebabs somewhere), which aren't bad, and actually are really dirt cheap and filling, but I just want some broccoli or something.

And the search continues....

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